As an adjective special means something better, greater, or otherwise different from the usual.
Or exceptionally good or precious. Then there are meanings that make the word special seem condescending and that is my beef.
Last week, I had just finished working my shift and was preparing to head over to my supervisor’s office and turn in my radio when I saw two women coming toward me as I got on the elevator. I recognized the one as a fellow team member who works in the HR department and the other apparently was a new hire that was being given a tour of our campus.
“Hello, Jerry,” the human resources person gushed with an overabundance of enthusiasm. “This is Sue [not her real name] I’m giving her a tour of our wonderful resort. This is Jerry. He’s really SPECIAL.”
“Hi, it’s nice meeting you,” I told the young woman with a pleasant smile. I ignored the HR representative, but stated, “I’m not that special.” I glanced at her to gauge her response, but she just beamed at me as if I didn’t know what I was talking about. The elevator door opened.
“Oh, but Jerry, you are such a special person,” she called out to me as I left the back hotel entrance and headed to the casino.
What I wanted to say, but undoubtedly may have cost me my job was define special for me because I’m not special needs, which apparently was how I interpreted her attitude toward me. That I was a few fries short of a happy meal. I wanted to tell her I’m not a moron. But like I said she might have become offended and had me written up for some nonsense and gotten me terminated.
People generally treat me with respect and like me the way I am, how I come across, my sense of humor, sense of what is right and how I treat other people. That doesn’t make me special, but human.
Then there are those individuals out there who don’t see me as a person with a functioning, intelligent brain who wrote numerous books and had five published so far. No what they see is a disabled man, who most likely shouldn’t be working here or anywhere. I should be put away out of their sight, then these people would be happy.
They greet me the same way that lady the other day greeted me. They then go out of their way to diminish my capabilities, or if I happen to apply for another job, find excuses for not promoting me. You can imagine how that makes me feel. I stopped trying and now am biding my time to finish working here and retiring.
What makes me special is my keen sense of who I am and my ability to persevere in spite of those other people out there who for reasons I will never understand call me special yet don’t know that really means.
Jerry Schellhammer 