Once upon a time there was this kingdom where everything was wonderful, so long as the emperor was happy. He was an old ruler with many whims and wants and needs, not least of which was that his loyal subjects graced his presence with reverence and awe.
One day in the southwest corner of the massive kingdom a fair maid’s mother Lady Alabaster was abducted by a jealous lord from a rival kingdom. The news spread like a plague upon the kingdom, and the subjects were sad by this news. The fair maid after all was well liked by everyone. Lady Alabaster, though not known, was respected and admired.
This of course took attention away from the emperor who fumed and muttered profanities at his loyal court. “How dare she take away my sovereign subjects. They must faun upon me not her! Who is this Lady Alabaster? A nobody! I’m the greatest emperor ever. She has nothing on me! Quick what must I do to gain my subjects’ attention back on me?” He asked the court.
“My liege,” the Black knight announced to the emperor. “I have heard rumors that I am certain are true of a kingdom far away near the Orient that has amassed a great and powerful army that intends to do harm to our friendly ally. I say we strike them first to prevent our friend’s kingdom from certain doom.”
“My liege,” the treasurer argued but not convincingly, “The kingdom doesn’t have the money to do such a bold attack, though we could tax the subjects for more through the tariffs we have imposed lately, your highness.”
“Will my benefactors be affected through these higher tariffs?” The emperor asked. “I promised them I’d lower their taxes to ensure their absolute loyalty.”
“Not at all your highness,” the treasurer replied.
“Then make it so. Raise taxes for our glorious fight to save our ally’s little kingdom. What do they give us in exchange for this?”
“What you always demanded, their loyalty to you,” the Black knight replied with a sinister gleam in his eyes.
“Yes, most excellent for I am the greatest emperor of the greatest kingdom of all the world!”
“YES YOU ARE!” The court stood and shouted their voices echoing throughout the halls of the castle.
“But, can we rescue Lady Alabaster?” The court’s sheriff asked the emperor.
“It’s not about her, but me,” he replied with disdain. “Whatever ransom this outlaw demands ignore him. Eventually he’ll simply kill her, and I of course will go to her funeral and bestow condolences to the fair maid. Perhaps I’ll invite her to be my jester or court scribe telling the kingdom of my greatness.”
Jerry Schellhammer 