Now am Found 

There’s a light at the end of a narrow tunnel that became bright and effervescent. Bob saw his dad for one day before he kicked him out again. “I just can’t deal with your drugs and drinking anymore, son,” he told him in an apologetic tone, his graying beard and lined face showing Bob how much he had aged since the last time they met almost ten years ago. 

Bob wondered for days and then hitched a ride to Spokane. He lived inside a dumpster at night, went to various street corners, begging for money to get his daily fix, going to the plasma center, and then the food kitchens to get his bowl of watery soup. 

He looked at his life and hated how he had become. It was becoming clear even to Bob that he not just needed to change but actually wanted to change. Life, as REM told the masses through the song “Choosing My Religion,” ‘is bigger than you or me,’ Bob realized and went to a church where the people didn’t see a poor beggar or burned-out drug addict, but a person who needed help.  

He concluded he needed saved from worldly desires and vices that had plagued him since he was a youth smoking cigarettes and pot, stealing MD20-20 from local convenience stores, and getting drunk, not caring about consequences. But now, now as he held his hands together praying for the higher power to save him, he yearned for that peace that always seemed to alluded him. 

A woman church member with white hair and fragile smile came and sat next to him at the same pew he sat, praying for someone to help save him. He wished his mother were still alive, but alcohol poisoned her eight years earlier and now he was faced with nothing. He barely noticed her from the corner of his eye. 

“You are troubled,” she stated to him. “My name, given to me from Our Lord and Savior, is Hope. I want to help you achieve that that is missing in your life.” 

Bob placed his hands on his lap, saw her and asked her, “Can I be your son?” 

“Of course, many have called me Mom.” 

“No, I want you to be my mother. Adopt me, please,” Bob begged. 

“Yes, I can do this,” she exclaimed. “You are my son now, Bob.” 

“Thank you Jesus!” 

End 

Once Was Lost 

Bob couldn’t remember the last time he ate. He also didn’t remember the last time he slept. Though he stayed in the hotel suite, he was fed mostly meth and bath salts, turning, and merging his hallucinations with reality to where he didn’t recognize what was real and what was a fantasy created inside his head. 

He only knew that at some particular time at night, Annie pushed him out the hotel room and he headed down the elevator and onto the gaming floor with the pack of drugs. He didn’t know what his fate was once he sold all the dope in the satchel. 

He tried pushing that thought into the back of his mind. It was quickly forgotten. That woman security guard trailed him as he went to a man on the slots. The same man he sold to the other night played with frustration showing as he slammed the button furiously. 

“Hey dude. Remember me?” He glanced up at Bob and nodded. 

“What is it?” 

“You need a little boost?” 

He pretended ignoring him. “Shit! Yeah, this machine is fucked up! I need a break.” He pulled himself off the cushioned chair and headed toward the men’s restroom. Bob discreetly followed. Once inside he headed to the back handicap stall. He opened the door, but it was secured. 

“I’m using it,” a man muttered with impatience. 

“Sorry dude. I’ll just wait until you finish.” 

“Whatever, there are four other stalls you know. Are you queer or something?” 

“No, dude, I’m, you know.” 

“No, I don’t know,” the man sitting on the throne stated in growing frustration. 

“Is there a problem?” A voice asked from the far end of the rest room. Bob turned around and saw a bearded security officer, along with a Native with bow-low tie and long, braided ponytail, and packing a snub-nosed .38 revolver in his left holster. 

“I’m trying to take a shit here, and this queer wants in my stall,” the man stated from inside the stall. 

“I…I’m sorry,” Bob said as he started to leave after he noticed his buyer leaving the urinal and going back on the floor. 

“What’s in the pack?” The Native detective asked. 

“OH, nothing, honest,” Bob Stammered. 

“I think we got us a white drug dealer here,” the security guard accused, glaring disdainfully at Bob. 

“Yeah, I think you’re right,” the Native detective sneered. 

“Put your yourself up against the wall, hands up where I can see them. Damn, Paul he got the routine down, don’t he? You don’t think he’s been in this spot before, do you?“ 

“I do believe he has been busted a time or two.” Bob felt the security guard frisk him and pulled out his wallet. “McCormach, Robert.” He glanced at the pack lying on the floor and the detective opened the flap revealing the drugs inside. “Hot damn, Mack. What do we have here? Let’s see, little baggies of white, crystals. I almost bet it’s crystal meth!” 

“I don’t know how that got in there. I must’ve grabbed the wrong pack when I checked out of my room earlier,” Bob tried to alibi his way out, knowing full well, this was going to be a long time in the big house. Something he wasn’t prepared for. 

Bob felt his right hand, and then his left forced behind his back and cool metal hand cuffs secured on his wrists. “You, my friend is under arrest,” Paul, the detective told him. 

“Oh shit,” Bob exclaimed as the security guard roughly escorted him out the rest room and onto the gaming floor. He caught a glance of Daryl and Annie watching him being taken to the back of house area through a set of swinging doors where a large sign read “Employees Only.” They walked down a long and narrow hallway until they stopped in front of a door. The security guard placed him there, placing him on a metal folding chair and closed the door firmly. 

He felt sweat emitting from every pore of his body. Bob’s knees jerked up and down involuntarily and his eyes scanned the tight confines of this holding cell. There were no clocks to tell him how long he had been here. He had no way of knowing what happened out there, whether Daryl and Annie were still here or split leaving him literally holding the bag and most likely going to federal prison for it.  

Bob heard the horror stories from places like Leavenworth, which had a special punishment for drug dealers. His mouth felt dry and he searched desperately for someone to feel sorry enough for him to at least give him a glass of water. 

He spotted that Native housekeeper passing by the room in her overcoat apparently coming to work her shift. She glanced briefly at him and glared as if she placed a hex on him for his sinful ways. 

“Is it this obvious?” Bob asked aloud. She turned and continued to her station. “God, why are you doing this to me?” 

He saw the detective come to the door, unlocked it with a key card and came inside. He sat down across from him in another folding chair. He cleared his throat before asking, “Can I get you anything?” 

“A glass of water would be nice,” Bob replied neutrally. 

“Who are you working for?” Bob shook his head. “Look, Bob…I can call you Bob, right?” 

“Yeah, sure, Paul.” 

“You are in deep shit here. And as far as I can tell, there ain’t no way you could afford to buy that much product, unless you mixed it yourself. I’m sorry but you don’t appear smart enough to mix crystal meth and not get yourself killed trying it.” 

“You got me there,” Bob admitted. “I’m willing to work with you but I need certain guarantees too. Like witness protection.” 

“I can’t deliver that. That’s out of my hands. Are you suggesting that this might be bigger than just you celling little baggies of junk?” 

“I don’t know. I just know I was hitching a ride to Seattle and this couple picked me up, got me high, and then I wound up here.” 

“Where are they now?” 

“I don’t know exactly. They were on the roulette wheel when you busted me.” 

“Surveillance, you got a copy?” He held his portable Motorola to his mouth. 

“Surveillance, here.” 

“Any one on Roulette two?” 

“Not at present. Was a couple, one Native male, one white girl on that game until about ten minutes ago.” 

“Are they in the building still?” 

“Negative, video saw them exit the main entrance.” 

“Copy that. It looks like you’ve been hung out to dry, Bob.” 

“Son of a bitch,” Bob sighed in frustration. He looked up at the detective. “He went by Daryl and she called herself Annie.” 

“Anything else?” 

“They had a room here. Four-twenty I think it was. They were partying with another Indian but never introduced himself. He kept talking about killing me off and not liking the fact that Daryl and Annie put me here.” 

“I’ll get you your glass of water, Bob,” Paul stated, getting himself up and going to the door and letting himself outside. 

It wasn’t but ten minutes later two security guards came in and escorted him down the hallway and deposited him at the back entrance where a loading dock stood nearby. Bob recognized the Lexus and his body stiffened with fear as Annie stepped out of the car. 

“Bobby, you naughty boy. Mom is going to be very angry at you for misbehaving,” she scolded him as the hand cuffs were removed from his wrists the security guards pushed him toward Annie. “Come on, let’s get home before something else happens.” 

Bob looked at the security officers with beseeching glances at them, hoping they’d understand the danger he was in now. “Aren’t you going to do something?” 

Both turned their backs to him and returned inside the casino. The entrance closed and secured with a resounding thud. 

“Bob, get in the car,” Daryl ordered him. 

“Come on honey, it’s time to go.” 

Bob sighed in resignation. He went to the back door, opened it, and climbed inside. The stereo blasted out a Gun N Roses tune that he recognized from ten years earlier. Daryl shifted the car and they left the casino. Bob looked back wistfully with a hope that maybe that detective would follow him. But there was no one behind them. 

One thing Bob considered to his advantage was how deep the snow appeared outside.  

It must be four feet deep. I just have to time it just right to make this work. They’re going to kill me if I don’t get out of here. He felt this urge to defecate or vomit or purge himself of anything inside his churning gut. He stared out the window looking at the darkened landscape of snow-covered land intermixed with houses with no lights on.  

“Where we going to do it?” Annie asked Daryl. 

“I  don’t care. Some place out in the middle of no where so no one can hear the shot.” 

“We gonna bury him too?” 

“Are you serious? It’s the dead of winter. The ground’s frozen!” 

“Okay, you don’t need to be so nasty, Daryl.” 

“Look, remember it was your idea to bring him in the first place. I only went along with it because if you or I got busted, like he did, then we both be in deep shit. Now we ain’t got no product and out fifty g. Bob, I hope you understand, this ain’t personal. Business is business, that’s all.” 

“I know,” Bob replied looking at Daryl’s reflection from the rear-view mirror. Another song came up from Joan Osborn, called “One of Us.” Bob listened to the lyrics and for some reason this song gave him hope . The car began slowing to a stop, he spotted a house with its lights on in the living room, and he knew this was the time. 

Bob opened the back door and pushed himself out from the car, smacking his hip against the hand grip. The pain felt barely noticeable and then he felt more pain as the snow- and ice-covered road caused his arm to go limp and his left leg lacerated from the rock salt on the pavement. “Ha, Ouch, ah,” he cried out as his body tumbled and then stopped. But he wasted no time as he leapt up and sprinted quickly to the house with lights on.  

“Bob! Come back,” Annie yelled out to him. He never so much as looked back as he continued running up he plowed driveway to the entrance and he banged on the door. It opened and the first thing he saw was the muzzle of a large caliber handgun pointed at his face. 

“Those people in that car are going to kill me!” He exclaimed to the woman dressed in pink flannel nightgown, curlers in her hair, and glower on her face. 

“Get inside and shut up.” She looked outside briefly once Bob was in the living room. His entire body shook violently. He sat on the floor, tears welled up and fell down his face. “Looks like they took off,” she stated as she closed the front door and got to his level by getting down on her knees. “It must be your lucky day, young man, I just happen to be a cop for the town of Hastings. What’s your name?” 

“Bob, Bob McCormach. They’re bad people. They got me selling meth.” He rocked back and forth as if he were a mental patient at a psychiatric hospital. His glassy eyes shot nervously from side to side.  

“I’m going to call my dad and then we’re going to the hospital to get you checked out.” 

“Oh God, don’t, don’t leave me!” 

“I ain’t leaving you. Just chill, okay?” She went to another part of the house. She walked back in the living room and was talking on a portable house phone. “Dad, it’s Tammy. I got a situation here. I don’t know this crazy guy came pounding on my door telling me there’s some people out to kill him. I don’t know if I believe him or he’s on some drug high and is freaking out. Can you come over? Okay. Okay, I’ll see you in about five minutes. Be careful this road is all kinds of icy tonight.” She ended the call and placed the phone a nearby end table. “My dad is also a cop and he’ll want to take a statement. Are you hurt anywhere?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe?” 

“Well, I think after we get you to the hospital, they can check you out and see if you got any injuries. 

Bob nodded at her. A knock at the door caused her to go and ask, “Is that you Dad?” 

“Yes,” came a reply from voice that had a slight Swedish lilt to it. 

“Secret password,” she tested him before opening. 

“Kalamazoo,” he replied. She unlocked the door and opened it. “What have we here?” 

“I’m Bob. I think I got myself into trouble with some bad people.” 

“Okay, let’s get in my car and you can tell me the entire story from beginning to end. My name is Carl Swenson. This is my daughter Tammy. You need to get dressed girl. Put on your uniform. You’re on official duty now.” 

End chapter four 

Crapped Out 

Bob had no idea what town this was that they stopped in front of a building whose lights and neon flashed and buzzed like a swarm of bees. He looked at the site, staring at it, willing it to disappear as snow fell steadily. The sign showing “Treasure Island Resort and Casino” appeared like a siren call. The massive parking lot appeared mostly empty. A sign below the marquee had a time of 4:44. 

“Where the hell am I” He asked aloud.  

“Silly boy! This is it, where we are going to make us a bunch of money,” Annie told him as she wrapped her long arm around his waist and smacked his jeans clad butt playfully. “Later, we’ll get us a room and have some fun.” Bob looked down at her face, the neon giving her a greenish, purplish, bewitching effect. Her eyes appeared like saucers. She was both exciting and frightening.  

“Let’s put this pack on you,” Daryl said as he placed what amounted to a book pack upon Bob’s back. He faithfully slipped his arms through the straps that secured that satchel to his back. It felt heavy. “If security asks to look inside, get out and don’t look back. Hopefully, at this hour they should be just getting done with their shift and won’t pay us any attention.” 

Bob now realized what his job was. He stared up at the bigger man and realized he had all the characteristics of a Native, including the high cheek bones and braided brunette hair with strands of gray and white that streaked along the ponytail. “What do I do?” 

“You go to these gamblers, who are playing and ask them if they want a little energy boost. It’s going on five in the morning. A lot of these people have been up all night. Give them a small baggy, it’s half of an eight ball, so it will give them that extra pep. Remember, Bob, we don’t want them tripping on us, but wired a bit,” Daryl replied with a grin. Bob saw the perfect white teeth behind the smile and knew they were false. 

“How much?” Bob asked.  

“Ten,” Annie replied. “No more than ten. We got a lot of product in that pack you’re carrying on your back. If…Oh God, I made a rhyme!” 

“Annie, mellow your shit,” Daryl scolded harshly. “If they want more, sell them more.” He told Bob. “We’ll be at the craps table, watching you. Don’t fuck this up if you know what’s good for you. Come on Annie. Stay back. Count to one hundred and then come in, got it?” 

“Yeah, sure, I got it.” Bob watched them disappear inside through a revolving door, sounds of circus or carnival-like whistles and bells emanated from inside. Then the sounds muted when the door stopped revolving. He slowly counted to himself until he counted out one hundred and walked inside. Though there were few gamblers inside, the noise appeared deafening as slot machines made their own distinctive whistles, wails, and siren blasts. 

He walked past a young couple with piercings and wearing flannel and baggy jeans. One was mesmerized by the spinning wheels of fortune while the other seemed just as addicted her cell phone, apparently texting someone. “Hey,” Bob announced himself. Both seemingly ignored him. “You guys want a little pick me up?” 

The girl with blue hair cropped and standing straight up glared up at him. “What’s it you got?” She demanded. 

“A little energy,” Bob replied being purposefully evasive. “I’m stoked on it now. It’s great shit.” 

“How much?” the dude asked with pierced nose, cheeks, and eyebrows. 

“Ten for half an eight.” 

“I gotta go to the rest room and take a piss. There’s a handicap stall. Meet me there in about three minutes,” the dude replied while he got up from his seat and disappeared toward the restroom near the entrance. “See you around,” he told her. 

“Yeah, whatever,” she replied as she went back on her cell phone and read a Facebook post. Bob so wanted to grab that phone from her hands and throw it against the wall, but he held his temper in check, checked the time on his watch and slowly made his way to the restroom. 

The noise from the gaming floor carried inside the restroom, but also there was music piped in that had a country beat. It sounded like some unknown wannabe. He saw the dude finishing and going to the sink to wash up as he continued to the corner stall reserved for disabled guests. Once inside, he removed the heavy pack and opened it. There were seemingly hundreds of small plastic baggies with a white crystalline substance inside. Bob knew what it was, so did the dude who joined him. “I want four, no five. Here’s a Benjamin.” 

He handed Bob the fifty bill and Bob handed him the five baggies of meth. “Great doing business with you. Maybe your girlfriend will lay you for your troubles.” 

“Her? She’s a bitch. She just likes to do shit on her cell phone. I don’t even think she does drugs. See you.” Dude disappeared and went presumably back to his slot machine while he hoisted the pack over his shoulders and went to another potential client. 

He found two others who bought some from him as well and then he went to an elderly couple. “Hey, there, you wanna buy some meth?” 

Both glared at him. “Young man, we don’t do drugs. It’s illegal. Aren’t you aware of that?” The older man asked with balding hair and wearing an ugly Christmas sweater. She appeared just as ancient with arthritic and trembling fingers pushing the button, seemingly at will, mindless to what came up on the wheel. 

“You should be ashamed of yourself for what you’re doing,” she told him with contempt in her voice. “You run along before I call security on your shenanigans.” 

Bob quickly retreated, realizing his mistake. “I’m terribly sorry,” he said as he backed away and turned around, heading toward another bank of slots. A Native housekeeper, emptying ashtrays and dusting the machines’ tops glared disdainfully at him. She was of middle age with graying hair and bi-focal glasses with black frames.  

A black man and white woman came by, and the white woman asked, “You selling?” 

“Yeah, where you wanna meet?” 

“That rest room over there. I just came out. There’s no one inside,” She replied. She had flaming red hair and a piercing on her long nose. Her eye pupils were tiny pinpoints. Bob nodded and followed her inside. 

“How much product you got?” She asked him once she led him into the handicap stall and he pulled the pack off his back and opened the top. 

“I honestly don’t know. If I had to guess, at least thirty pounds worth.” 

“Seriously? Dude!” She squealed out. “How much?” 

“Well, ten for one of these baggies.” He watched her pull money from a loose-fitting blouse, assuming she must’ve had it attached to a money clip on her bra or something. She had hundred-dollar bills that she rifled through and handed him twenty such bills.  

“I want two hundred bags!” 

He suddenly got nervous and thought maybe this was a setup or a bust. “Do you have to be so loud?” Bob asked. “Maybe this was a bad idea.” 

Just then the black man came in. “What’s the problem?” 

“He’s acting weird Lucifer.” 

“Lucifer?” Bob asked incredulously.  

“What’s your trip? You got the bag opened just sell her what she wants,” he told him. 

“I don’t…I don’t know.” Bob wanted so much to escape these people. 

“Okay, here’s five hundred more, if it’s the money,” she said with displeasure in her tone. 

“Alright,” Bob finally replied. He counted out the two hundred bags and handed it to her. She placed the contents in a handbag, closed the flap and immediately left the stall and restroom. Lucifer glared at him a brief moment before he exited the restroom.  

Bob’s entire body shook in fear, feeling the adrenaline coursed through his body. He sat on the toilet when he heard someone walk in. She sat in the stall next to his. 

“How much you got so far?” Annie asked from the opposite wall. He heard her pissing in the toilet. 

“I just sold two hundred and before that about fifty more. I think.” His mind felt like a fog. 

“In an hour, leave the floor and go to the hotel. We’re in room four-twenty.” She unrolled toilet paper from its spindle and then got up. The automatic flusher swept the piss down the toilet. She left him. Bob slowly got up from the toilet seat and left the restroom. A security officer was waiting for him. She had the light brown skin and raven colored hair with brown eyes of a Native. She was also heavy set and looked menacing, apparently confident that she could easily handle him. 

“What were you doing in the women’s restroom?” She asked in a demanding tone. 

“Women’s restroom?” He looked innocently at her. Her picture name badge read Lucy under her photo. “Oh crap, I went to the wrong restroom! I’m sorry. I think I’ve been drinking too much.” 

“You got ID on you?” 

“Just my South Dakota drivers’ license,” Bob replied as he pulled his wallet from his back pocket. She peered at his license briefly and announced on her Motorola, “All clear. He mistakenly took the wrong restroom.” 

“Copy, security, surveillance, clear.” 

“I suggest you sleep it off. We have rooms available in our hotel. I suggest you book one, Mr. McCormach.” 

“Thanks, I’ll definitely do that.” He watched her go on to another call and snuck back inside the restroom to recover the pack. Just as he retrieved it that same security guard came in and sat inside a stall. He cursed his bad luck but ran quickly out anyway as he heard the unmistakable sound of pee splashing inside a toilet. 

Bob sighed in relief as he left the restroom and went to the craps table where Daryl continued playing. He stood just behind him and watched him roll the red dice on green felt table, a white plastic chip covered the come line. 

Bob never played craps before, didn’t know the first thing about it. So, he watched the dice thrown against the wall and even numbers came up. “Eight is the number,” the dealer called out. 

Daryl fisted the dice, blowing on them and then threw them. A four and three came up. “Seven! You crapped out. Sorry better luck next time,” the Native dealer called out. 

“Son of a bitch,” Daryl exclaimed as the chips were pulled from the come line and he was left with nothing. He turned around and saw Bob, who smiled at him as if he were an old friend. Daryl walked past him, ignoring his presence, went toward the hotel lobby. 

Bob stayed on the casino floor, peddling what he could to others who played their slot games. But, like Daryl, he failed and after an hour he walked to the elevator and went up the fourth floor where he found the room and knocked.  

“Who is it?” Daryl called from the door. 

“Bob,” he deadpanned. 

“Bob’s not here,” he called out as he heard them laughing. 

“No, I’m Bob,” he replied impatiently. 

“Bob’s not here,” he yelled out, amid more laughter. 

Finally, Bob got it. “Ha, ha, very funny. Let me in please.” 

The door unlocked and opened with the couple giggling at him, along with another pair he never met. Both appeared dangerous and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand out. He shuddered involuntarily while he pulled the pack from his back laying the satchel on a chair. He then opened a flap and handed him the cash from the sales. 

Daryl counted the money carefully, giving Bob two hundred for his efforts. “Thanks, Daryl,” Bob told him as he pulled out his wallet and placed the cash inside and folded it and placed it back in his back pocket. 

“What are we going to do with him?” The tall stranger asked Daryl. 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s going to be handled,” Daryl replied. 

“We’re gonna party and then later poof, all gone.” 

Bob got nervous from the conversation. Are they talking about me? “Hey, I’m right here guys,” he told the group. 

“I’m not liking this, the way you got it going,” the big and fat Native who glared at Bob as if he were annoying fly buzzing about. He was bald except for the mohawk that ran along top of his head. 

Warped

Bob saw the images flashing through his eyes into his brain. Waves of nausea moved from his stomach and into his throat, gagging noises emitting from his mouth. The car he rode in seemingly floated on a black ribbon, headlight beams navigating between flashing white lines and a long snake-like line ran endlessly on his right.  

Bob saw the pretty girl hand him the pipe. She lit it for him. He shook his head. He didn’t want anymore. He wanted to just close his eyes and listen to Counting Crows, Bush, Beck, and Live on the radio that played so forcefully. 

“What’s the matter honey? Are you being a light weight? Come on sweety just one more. We’ll be at the casino really soon.” 

“No more. I’m so fucked up. What did you put in that shit?” Bob asked as his head rolled to the side, his eyes closed though he could clearly see her face appearing and disappearing with each flashing headlight beams of oncoming cars. 

“Oh, it’s a new thing. Bath salts, it really makes you trip out just like acid.” Her voice rose several octaves higher than Bob wanted. She laughed. It sounded more like a heckle than anything he considered a woman’s polite laugh. 

He slowly opened his eyes. He saw her pretty face, the small button nose, the rosy cheeks, the shining eyes. “I want to fuck you,” he whispered so her boyfriend wouldn’t hear him. 

“Oh, you nasty boy!” She exclaimed with a laugh. 

“What did he say?” Daryl asked. He glanced at him from the rearview mirror, his eyes dark and dangerous. 

She reached over and whispered in his ear; Bob prepared for the worst. His eyes appeared humorless, but he nodded. 

“Go in the back seat and give him a good time,” Daryl told Annie. She squealed in delight. 

“You gonna watch me do him?” She asked as she scooted between the bucket seats, showing Bob her skirt that revealed a naked bush and bared butt; stockings with a pair of garters holding them up her shapely thighs. 

“Sure Babe, I’ll adjust this mirror so I can see this show! Bob you feeling Okay?” 

“I’m not sure,” he replied with hesitancy in his voice while Annie pulled down his pants and mounted him. 

“Oh, Baby, yeah, you are so hot and hard!” She exclaimed riding him and he climaxed before he knew it. 

“God!” Bob yelled out as he saw her face. It seemed to take on a beastly quality and he slid as far from her as he physically could. 

“What’s wrong baby? Was I too rough for you? You better get used to it, pretty boy!” She climbed back over the seat and whispered something to Daryl. 

“That’s funny!” He exclaimed as he stared at Bob from the mirror Bob saw the Highway sign of Interstate 90 Eastbound.  

“Where are you taking me?” Real fear came out of his mouth, and his eyes darted frantically. 

“Dude, we told you that we’re going to the tribal casino. You are going to make us all rich. Then, we’ll take you to where you want to go. That’s the plan and you said you wanted in on it. Right?” 

Bob looked at Daryl who continued staring back at him through rear view mirror. “I guess I forgot.” He closed his eyes and sleep overtook him. Images floated through his head; certain they were dreams but now he couldn’t tell the difference anymore. 

End of chapter two 

Bob

My loyal readers today I’m treating you to a story told to me from my son in law. It is said that truth sometimes is stranger than fiction. This event is one for the ages. His name isn’t nearly as important, thus I named him Bob to protect his privacy. 

“Mr. McCormach you are hereby sentenced to thirty days, with 29 time served. I would suggest you seriously consider your future plans in this state Mr. McCormach.” 

“I have your honor. I’m going back to see my dad in Washington State,” Bob replied. 

“Good, I for one don’t want to see you grace us with your presence again. As a matter of fact, I’m ordering this county’s sheriff to personally take you to the South Dakota, Montana border and drop you off there.” 

“Thanks, your Honor, I wasn’t expecting this much generosity.” 

“Are you being sardonic toward me?” He removed his bifocal, black framed glasses that showed a searing glare from his steely gray eyes. “Well Mr. McCormach! Are you mocking me?” 

“No, your Honor, I wouldn’t dream of it, sir.” He scratched the month’s growth of scraggly beard. His orange jail jumpsuit had a tear on his elbow that ran vertically along the sleeve. He gave the judge as sober an expression he could muster, hoping he wouldn’t add contempt charges against him too. 

“You are a menace to society Mr. McCormach. I’ll gladly let you leave South Dakota and become Washington’s menace,” he told Bob with a stern, unappreciative tone. He wrote something in the folder that Bob most likely won’t ever see. “Get him out of my sight. Next case,” he yelled toward the bald-headed bailiff. 

The khaki uniformed deputy escorted him from the court. Bob had a medium built and long hair, though normally it was cut much shorter when he wasn’t in jail, though recently that had become more infrequent. This last time, possession of over a gram of Crystal meth and assault at the local bar here in Pierre. 

He ended up at the same place he came in, booking, a month earlier. The jailer sneered at him. “Howdy Bob. You planning to make a return trip some time soon? Or are you tired of our company?” He stood four inches above Bob’s shoulders and head. He most likely weighed over a hundred pound more too. His accent appeared like he was a local boy with no plans to leave. 

“No, the judge told me to get out of his state,” Bo replied grinning at the jailer. 

“Where you planning to go now?” 

“Somewhere in Washington. My Dad wants me to come and visit for a while.” 

He laughed at the reply and went to the back room where wire bins were stored. He came back with a bin with his name and social security number on a 3×5 card. He turned the card over and printed neatly were the items he came here with a month ago. “Okay you know the routine, Bob. Coat, 

“Here,” Bob replied.  

“Pants, belt, and wallet.” 

“Here.” 

The jailer pulled a zip-loc baggy full of cash and loose change. He emptied the bag on the counter. “Cash, three twenties, one and four dollars, cash. Coin, three quarters, two dimes and two, four six, ten pennies.” 

“Here.” 

“Pocket knife, butterfly knife, and flat head screw driver.” 

“Here,” Bob replied. 

“Flannel shirt and long sleeve sweater.” 

“Here.” 

“That’s it, go into that rest room and get dressed,” the jailer told Bob. “I hope I never see you again, Bob.” 

“Likewise,” Bob replied as he retreated into the rest room and closed the door. After pulling the jumpsuit from his body, exposing his nakedness and the many tattoos done on him either professionally or in the numerous jails he occupied in the past ten years since he was old enough to become part of the system, he threw on his pants, boots, shirt, and sweater. He threw the rest inside his coat pockets and then threw that on, exiting the rest room and sat on a bench in front of the jailer in booking. 

Another deputy came by and told him, “Get up.” 

Bob smiled as he arose and he was escorted from the booking area down a long hallway toa locked door. The deputy stopped at the door and announced, “McCormack released!” The door unlocked and Bob went outside into fresh, abet bitterly cold air. He breathed in the air and felt thankful he was finally free. 

“I bet I got enough to get high,” he said to himself. “No, I can’t. I need to head to the freeway and hitch a ride to Spokane.” 

He walked down a nameless street to another street and up  several blocks until he got to the freeway entrance. He stooped inside a convenience store, bought marker pen, and went outside to the cardboard bin and took a flattened box, tore it in half and wrote out in big block letters: Spokane or bust. 

Bob then went out to the freeway’s entrance ramp and sat down on the frozen ground and waited for his ride. His mind rifled through thoughts in machine gun-like repetition wondering if this person or that driver or this family would feel sorry for him and stop. He waited and waited. Time seemed to stop or move with the viscosity of frozen molasses. 

A car with a couple, pretty young woman riding beside a clean-cut, clean-shaven man, stopped in front of him. She beckoned him to the car, a newer Lexus with Minnesota license plates. Bob grinned like a fool as he ran to the car and got into the back seat. 

“Hey there, hon. You know you’re kinda cute. Are you in any kind of hurry to get to where you’re going?” She asked flashing a Pepcident smile of perfectly white and straight teeth. 

“No, not really,” Bob replied. The accent sounded mid-western, like she was indeed from Minnesota. “I’m Bob.” 

“Well, I’m Annie and he’s Daryl. You get high?” 

Bob’s mouth subconsciously began watering. “I dabble a little,” he replied. 

Last Friday

To say I was shocked upon hearing the that the conference my university represented was imploding would have been an understatement. Before the day was done, both Arizona schools and Utah requested to be put into the Big 12 after Oregon and University of Washington were invited into the Big Ten, leaving four schools, Cal Berkley, Stanford, Oregon State and WSU to fend for themselves. 

By Monday evening reports came in that certain people in the ACC were thinking of inviting Stanford and Cal to their conference. At this point it is just rumors circulating that this might be the future, if this, that, and the other occurs. 

If that should happen, of course, Oregon State and Washington State would either be stuck in limbo or have their respective athletic directors find a new conference themselves, leaving the Pac 12 the dinosaur distinction of historical archives. 

How did this happen? In its most simplest terms, money is what drove this decision. Television, and most importantly football that is televised brings in the lion’s share of the cash for these schools. The other sports programs don’t compare.  

The problem of realigning Washington State and Oregon State with other conferences is that they’re too big for most of the conferences in the west with the exception of Mountain West, that we would compete with Boise State, Air Force and UNLV. Is that going to be the answer? Then what happens ten more years down the road when another sudden realignment shift occurs? Like the automobile industry, are university programs going to be just three mega-conferences, like monstrous krakens covering this country just for the pure sinful pleasure of greedy athletic directors and television executives? 

Unfortunately, this appears where this country’s university programs are headed, academia be damned. 

Fire Fly 

I woke to an alarm clock this morning. I then smelled the unmistakable odor of wood smoke invading my nostrils. Two days ago, there was a brush fire east of my house. Last night I saw smoke billowing from a separate fire that started five miles southwest of here. This afternoon after getting off from work, I noticed heavy smoke billowing well south of here down by Sunset Hill.  

I am certain there’s a fire fly darting about from place to place and he or she is either bored or just plain dumb that wants to do something destructive. This fire fly wants to see the flashing red and blue lights and the wails of sirens echoing off the trees and hills. This fire fly wants to see aircraft and helicopters fly overhead depositing water and red retardant on the flames. He or she wants to see the first responders respond, fearlessly putting down the flames that lick at them, heedless of the dangers that they must ignore and save the innocents from the one fire fly that skitters about from place to place to start these blazes with such disregard to human life and property. 

It saddens me that people are so disrespectful that they feel this need to create havoc and chaos, start fires because they have nothing better to do than be a fire fly in the room. Maybe one day karma will come to their door and they will wonder as many others have why me? 

Stone Mountain Paradox

As I have told you my loyal readers I’m starting a new book about An African American Cowboy in the old west. Last night on PBS I watched an episode about a symbol of the Confederacy called Stone Mountain that both enlightened me because I do enjoy watching historical stuff like this and disheartened me because I abhor racism in all its shapes and sizes. 

The reality is that Stone Mountain which depicts two southern Confederate generals and its President, Jefferson Davis, glorifies this chapter in our history of the “Lost Cause,” theory that the north  started the war by depriving its citizens of its constitutional rights to property—i.e., owning Black Slaves.  

While I do believe that we as a nation cannot turn our faces to what happened, we also must cope with the reality that a certain aspect of our collective culture has to continue to survive the aftereffects this war generated. There will always be White supremacists out there who hate the Black man with so much passion he or she will always blame them for their misfortune, economic distress, and inability to move forward. 

Our culture will always have people distrustful of the government and willing, even praying that someone will come along and be their messiah, such as Mr. Trump tried to accomplish. Of course, had he won a second term, I doubt very much they would have stomached him declaring the United States Constitution invalid and making himself president for life. 

Stone Mountain is in our collective consciousness, whether we want it to be or not. Martin Luther King even wrote about it in his “I have A Dream” speech in 1963. Tearing down monuments that at one time glorified Confederate soldiers and generals isn’t the answer, though I personally thought it interesting that all of this was done in reaction to the George Floyd killing along with other brutal police killings in 2020 giving Black Lives Matter ammunition to show how our racist attitudes hadn’t changed.  

We have an obligation to learn from history, visit the sites, the memorials, the statues, not destroy them or revise our history to suit a political agenda. My worry is that if we destroy those relics of our collective past, then we certainly are doomed to repeat history. 

Tony Bennett Died

Even though it was expected, it was still a shock that I saw on the news of Tony Bennett’s passing. After all he was suffering from Alzheimer’s and he was ninety-six. 

I never really thought much of him growing up. After all, that kind of music was for my parents, along with Pat Boone, The Kingston Trio and Perry Como. His music wasn’t my music. According to my dad he proposed to Mom from the song “I Left My Heart in San Francisco.” 

But I found out that couldn’t have been the case since the song supposedly came out in 1962. Dad proposed to Mom in 1957. So, it must’ve been another crooner of that era. It was still a good song and it obviously got him the fame and money to launch his career further. 

At any rate the fact he got of these accolades in his career in such a short span, I thought, seemed monumental. It came to my attention, like every other entertainer of that era, he also had a drug problem and had to walk away from the business, making a comeback later in appearances with Conan and Letterman. 

I saw the episode earlier this year when 60 minutes aired him doing the final tour with Lady Gaga. I was impressed that he could remember the lyrics and the beat to each and every song he performed, acting as if he weren’t stricken with that awful disease at all. It was in those interviews that one could see how he withdrew, his confused expressions when the interviewer asked him a question that I saw how Alzheimer’s indeed tainted him. 

Expectations of a MAGA 

I’m a member of a social media site called Quora. I’m sure it has more to do with my reaction to the regiment of loyal followers of Donald Trump who called themselves Trumpian or MAGAs. 

To blame this on one person is giving Donald trump too much credit. As one author pointed out the idea of populism has been around since William Jennings Bryant and Adolf Hitler. The idea is to create power in the masses that for years did not have power. Then someone like Trump comes around and tells these frustrated people they too have a voice and all they have to do is stand up to those in power—the elitists—and overthrow them. In the minds and hearts of these people it’s about scapegoat and separating them from those true Americans. 

In 1967, a social studies teacher created an experiment called the Third Wave. It was a social experiment designed to teach high school students how easy it was to fall into fascism and Nazism from a stable democratic government. The entire emphasis of the experiment was that democracy focused too much on the individual and not on the community. 

If Trump’s own political views weren’t so out of my beliefs then I too might have shared in his rhetoric 

But, I have views that are more in line with the individual not the populists who rather have a dictator telling them what they want to hear and going with the flow. They want to believe that their voice matters and the elitists, the journalists, and the minorities, who they believe are the enemy need to be silenced. 

Eventually populism will fade away from our social consciousness, as did many other voices of the past that believed in change. We as a society can’t blame the MAGA populists for wanting their voices heard. Obviously for too long one party catered to one group that promoted all these changes that didn’t fit in their belief system and another group that pandered to the Wall Street tycoons, the doctors with their million-dollar mansions and other elitists who opposed changing the status quo. 

As I have stated in past blogs, there needs to be a middle ground where everyone can have a voice and affect change that means something for all.